An astonishingly timely hotel concept launches today with the opening of the first 7 hotels in the newborn X-Hotels™ chain. This infant in the worldwide hospitality scene is expected to grow fast – there will be 30 X-Hotels open within 6 months and brand-linked cafes and restaurants under the X-Presso™ and X-Delectable™ names will start appearing on every continent by year’s end.

After the record breaking success of 5 Star Raft Hotels (only one problem occurred with a 5 Star Raft Hotel that is still un-tethered and floating in a non-constant elliptical pattern in the south China seas) X-Hotels chairman and CEO Goodnight Sleep will preside over the launch today which will be screened live at Wi-Max cinemas worldwide (3D glasses provided).

A revolutionary and discriminatory pricing system will use data gained from customer’s internet search preferences to fix a price that the Psycho-Pricing™ system shows they will at that moment, be willing to pay. No more crude REV PAR and revenue management systems. Where one guest is “happy” to pay 300 dollars another may pay only 37 all the way on up to the X-Presidential Suites – that’s what they’ll be quoted. Prices might vary for these 400 square meter dens of luxury and convenience, from 200 to 357,000 dollars per night.
In most cases check-in will take place after each guest has been amply welcomed at the hotel bar – experience shows that this “conditions” guests to be a bit more free-spending, thus agreeing to a higher per night room price.

Rooms will all be equipped with rainforest™ shower heads to give a “real meaty shower” avoiding the dribbling faucet experience justified in a lot of feverishly eco-obsessed hotels today.

X-shaped pools improve swim-flow during peak swimming hours.

A new active social policy from X-Hotels means we won’t charge any sales taxes, VAT or hotel taxes – we just don’t charge them, we don’t believe in them. So we take care of squeezing this money back out of the politicians so you don’t have to pay it when you stay at an X-Hotel, why should you?

With an XtraFast™ growth strategy, the chain is expected to quickly become the world’s first “Too Big to Fail” hotel chain and part of the pitch to investors has been this very approach and the top goal to find its own way to benefit from Geithner/Bernanke-Care.

Modeled on the original English pub system of Public bar and Lounge bar – X-Hotels will be designed to operate well in areas of the world where rival warlords would never be seen drinking together….from Check-in counter and lobby areas, to cafes, restaurants and bars there will be “two sides” to everything – designed by renegade UN peacekeeping officials-turned-architects.

Why the name “X-Hotels”? CEO Goodnight Sleep says “it’s obvious really, X is the next letter available in the one letter brand market and we decided on a name that’s easy to remember, write and say – or at least have fun trying. Also we decided to take it before anyone else got there”.

We will also theme some elements of each country’s X-Hotels to provide the ideal haven, For example in the UK guests will be able to enjoy the total lack of surveillance cameras and also be provided with dummy camera toys in case withdrawal symptoms set in. In the USA “no change” zones will be provided to offer peace and quiet and a chance to really relax in the Homeland.

In the larger X-Hotel Resorts there’s a new Gordon Brown room for those who wish to be on a deprived diet or think “pain and suffering, guilt and misery are good for longevity”.  Specialist misery therapists will give you the best “reduction and deterioration” treatment anywhere.

These larger leisure properties will also have an Obama-Care™ Spa Courtyard and Lounge offering a self service set of therapies (had to be self-service because no doctor or qualified professional was willing to appear within the walls of this new offering) . The Deluxe X-massage Self-Massage can only be imagined!

Proof of the future success for X-Hotels is seen in the large number of enthusiastic TripAdvisor reviews prior to the opening of the first hotel.

The first 7 X-Hotels:

X-Hotel Bleeker street, Manhattan
X-Hotel Adobe, Santa Fe, NM
X-Hotel Monterey Bay, CA
X-Hotel Miraflores, Lima, Peru
X-Hotel Leicester Square, London
X-Hotel Ronda , Andalucia, Spain
X-Hotel, Kano, Nigeria

In July the X-Hotel Rangoon will bring luxury back to Burma.

A NASDAQ listing is planned for early April 2011

X-Hotels™ = Xceptional Xhilarating Xciting and Xtraordinary™

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X-HOTELS
For further details contact (On 1st April 2010):
Frank Opignon – press, push and pull
Eggs Welldone – commercial contracts

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The New 5 Star Raft Hotels group launches

We are delighted to announce the first of our new hotel brand – “5 Star Raft Elafonisi Crete”.

5 Star Raft will build and float super-luxury wood raft floating hotels. The first is the 5 Star Raft Elafonisi Crete. The new hotel phenomenon will be rolled out with hotels around the USA, Hawaii, The Falklands, Australia and Greece over the next six months for a fast-accumulating total of 112 hotels. After that another 375 5 Star Raft Hotels will open every 7 months.
Most will offer 75 “Deep-Luxury” dream suites, according to Overt Symptom the company’s president of operations and expansion.

Creating a new market, a new level of sophistication, service, luxury and sense of movement.

The demand for the vacation that “does everything” and suits the whole family, and confers bragging rights for inclusion in the “best holiday destination in the world” category, is increasing.

Few want to risk the expense of a once in a lifetime “luxury beyond luxury” vacation in today’s financial madhouse if by being stuck in one place, the very experience could be compromised by a deterioration in the location of a hotel…by changes in the surrounding landscape, or even weather.

5 Star Raft ® solves all problems, in fact it eliminates them. For example the 5 Star Raft Elafonisi Crete only stays in Elafonisi if the weather is good and the area is not too crowded.

If it rains the hotel sails to better climes, if it gets crowded it sails to a quieter bay.

If you wish to arrange a large family gathering vacation or a corporate retreat, just book the whole raft and we will bring the 5 Star Raft Hotel to a port near you.

5 Star Raft combines the romance of drifting on a raft with luxury that could only have been dreamed of:

- Teak wood floating virtual city – with nightly performances of world-standard operas, concerts, rap artists, poetry readings along with circus performers, movie premieres, and many more.

- A selection of 20 of the world’s best restaurants including Marine Puch’s, WaterBucks café, The Water Ivy, Floating Sushi, SoftShoeMama’s, Taglietelle Delight, RandomSteaks, DriftwoodCanapes, TheFloatingChampagneFlute, WhichWayWasabe, Ming’sDishes, CaptainAhab’sCatchItIfYouCan and more.

- 3 Members of staff for every guest – and the exclusive “ChangeThatOne” feature which means if you don’t like your waiter…change him and choose another, if the bartender won’t laugh at your jokes…call in your own substitute ‘tender’

- Make your time useful and educational – all 5 Star Raft hotels are stocked with at least 59 university professors chosen for their expertise, usually department heads from Stanford, Harvard, South Carolina Tech, Oxford, Cambridge, Beijing Institute of research and even the Falkland Island’s own Professor of economics – all waiting to give a lecture, a debate, personal coaching and tuition.

- Unique to the hotels is the sense-sensor ® fuelled by 73 high powered computer servers, after being injected with the Mood and Feeling intravenous submarine detector on check in…we will know exactly what you want, when you want it, whatever it is. And with our worldwide “what are they gonna’ want next?” network, you’ll never wait for more than 2 minutes 23 seconds for what you feel like doing, to be what you are doing! Think of that!

There is one thing that might be considered limiting about the 5 Star Raft Hotel concept (we are working to overcome this) – at the moment you can only book up to noon on April 1, 2009 because there’s a storm brewing around the 5 Star Raft booking center and we just can’t keep the internet and phone connecting wires plugged in after that time.

5 Star Raft Hotels – ready to float!

An April diversion of SuperbGreece.com and CreteTravel.com

April Luxury:

For those who are happy to pay for “better than the best” the new Villa San Serife is just the thing.

Situated on a peak of a mountain range in Crete – the building of the villa is a feat of magnificent engineering, as winds can be up to 70 kilometres per hour most days. The anchoring of an enormous estate on the tip-top of a rocky mountain peak is a significant engineering advance.

Because of the villa’s location, views really are panoramic and a full 360 degree view from the circumferential terrace is magnificent. There is no interruption of the view as the villa is reached via an elevator in the centre of the structure (inside the mountain), that rises 2200 metres from the plateau entrance way below.

Offering 22 bedrooms, every bedroom offering Jacuzzi, spa facilities, a 58 inch molten plasma TV screen, emperor size beds, wet bar, dry bar, exercise bar, computer, fax, telex, 9-line telephone system, secretary, interpreter; there are 4 kitchens, a 22 car garage (at plateau level), in-house butler and valet. There are 3 swimming pools (one indoors, one on the terrace area, one on the rooftop). The terraces are “sprayed” with oxygen continuously to avoid any deleterious effects of altitude.

The library with over 75,231 rare collectors’ editions has multi-screen Internet facilities with the newest askgoohoo retrieval systems.
There are 6 entertainment and living areas; 2 cinemas each seating 480 people.

24 Hour services include: on-a-whim gourmet meals cooked by any one of the 4 international award-winning chefs on hand (all tempted away from multi star Michelin-awarded establishments); helicopter on call for visits to cafes and beaches; massage and spa treatments (including the legendary marmalade rejuvenating wrap); 1972 channel satellite TV; WiFI, MiFI,HiFi and the newest MegaXiZi systems. A library of 97000 DVD movies is available and ever-updated. Music – any song from any country, any time, anywhere.

The total area of the villa is 8,713 square metres.

Only available for rental up until noon on 1st April 2008.

Price – are you sitting down – 6981003 Swiss Francs per half day. Loans (we hear) can be readily obtained from several investment banks, with no credit qualification required whatsoever.

Extra! – Status: Not available – fully booked for 2008